L I t T e R

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The curtain rises to reveal The Great Don, seated on a meditation stool. Enter an aspirant, humbly.

Great Don: Approach! What brings you from the netherworld of leaky pipes?
(for the aspirant is a plumber)

Aspirant: Master, I come to seek wisdom and guidance in the art of poetry.

Great Don: Attend! Boys are sobbing vessels of karma, whose first act is to penetrate their mother, and are given only the perceptual equivalent of a pinhole camera through which they are supposed to experience the universe.

Aspirant: Master, I do not understand.

Great Don: Let me elucidate: having fallen into a mammalian dream of the universe, we fall slowly into a much deeper human dream. The human dream is one of all things first recognised, and then named, in accordance with their human utility, translated and metaphorised into the human realm.

Aspirant: Clearly, Great Don, I have much to learn: your words seem but as mumbo-jumbo to my ears. But tell me, how do I write poetry?

Great Don: Only Poets can write Poetry.

Aspirant: And how, great Don, do I become a Poet?

Great Don: Know that the secret of writing poetry is revealed only to initiates - a secret brotherhood known as The Professionals. Such chosen ones manifest themselves by... (pause) …by writing poetry! But, more - by writing poetry in accordance with the sacred lore and ancient rituals of the fabled House of the Picador.

Aspirant: Yes! I wish to become a member of The Professional Brotherhood.
I shall become a poet by writing poetry! But how do I write poetry?

Great Don: Only Poets can write Poetry.

Aspirant: But how then, great Don, do I become a Poet?

Great Don: Know that the secret of writing poetry... etc, etc

(repeat until aspirant understands)